Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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