we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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