I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
