she was so not down for the gang bang
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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