She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
