we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize