Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
