I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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