did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are we still banned from the library?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
