That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
