So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
