Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
