quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize