ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
