dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize