What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
