Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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