Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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