i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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