Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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