I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
