I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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