My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
