She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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