Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
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Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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