and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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