all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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