Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
