My friends, they love my intelligence
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize