your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
