coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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