I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Randomize
