Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
