I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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