Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
