we're making bets on your personal life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
