Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
