He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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