I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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