the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
