I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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