Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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