Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
