hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
