We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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