i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
