im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize