I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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