Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
