Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
