there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
