Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize