I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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