This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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