Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My vagina is officially offended.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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