You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
